Nudge nudge. Wink Wink. Say no more.More precisely, I'll be talking about their new release: Those Whom The Gods Detest.
But, before anything else, I have to apologize to all dear readers of this shitty blog for the long interval since my last post. The reason for this is that if there is someone lazier than me on this planet, sloths have officially gained sentience,
Actually, I don't like climbing trees......And that I didn't have the right CD with me. Now that I do, I might as well tell the story of how I've discovered this album:
So, I'm at FNAC, browsing the CDs that were there, when, for the first time ever, I find exactly what I was looking for.
Grinning like as though I was trying to keep my face serious, I felt a warm blacnket of joy cover me as I held in my hands the true Death Metal CD.
Ithyphallic cries a little inside...Sadly, this blanket of joy soon faded away as I turned the case around and saw the Nuclear Blast logo gloriously emblazoned onto the lower part of the back cover:
Wait a minute... Nuclear Blas? NUCLEAR BLAS?!! How could the musical equivalent of Volkswagen permit such a thing?! How could the most serious, scientifc, precise of the big metal labels let through a spelling error ON THEIR FUCKING LOGO?! I mean, from their other releases, you'd deduce that these guys consider metal a science, that they check the whole album through a microscope prior to even considering the possibility of even putting the "product" into the market.
Now, although I must say that, counting with this one, I have a total of three CDs from Nuclear Blast in my collection, and that the aforementioned FNAC is constantly bombarded with Belphegor releases, I can't help but compare Nuclear Blast, or Nuclear Blas, to LIDL, a chain of supermarkets.
I'm fairly sure I'm not insane.
Although their "product" is well designed, comes with a bunch of stuff, feels complete and overall good, you never end up feeling that desire for more that you get from, say, Earache releases.
Compared to Nuclear Blas(t), Earache is like a toddler with a box of crayons.
Wait a minute... Nuclear Blas? NUCLEAR BLAS?!! How could the musical equivalent of Volkswagen permit such a thing?! How could the most serious, scientifc, precise of the big metal labels let through a spelling error ON THEIR FUCKING LOGO?! I mean, from their other releases, you'd deduce that these guys consider metal a science, that they check the whole album through a microscope prior to even considering the possibility of even putting the "product" into the market.Now, although I must say that, counting with this one, I have a total of three CDs from Nuclear Blast in my collection, and that the aforementioned FNAC is constantly bombarded with Belphegor releases, I can't help but compare Nuclear Blast, or Nuclear Blas, to LIDL, a chain of supermarkets.
I'm fairly sure I'm not insane.Although their "product" is well designed, comes with a bunch of stuff, feels complete and overall good, you never end up feeling that desire for more that you get from, say, Earache releases.
Compared to Nuclear Blas(t), Earache is like a toddler with a box of crayons.And, like with LIDL publicity, with Nuclear Blas(t) you get the feeling their managers think the listeners are idiots, since with every release, you get a shitload of reminders that you're listening to something from Nuclear Blas(t).
Just in case you forgot...
Speaking of which, while Nile were really nice and considerate (note that this is not sarcasm) when giving us the 23 page booklet, since it really gives meaning to the songs, and they were really generous when they only made me pay 21,50 € for what is one of the most beautiful limited edition digipaks ever...
I dare you to say otherwise
...But there is a line between being helpful and "pointing out" that you're an idiot, such as this (what follows has only been said by person X within the reaches of person Y's imagination):
"We decided to be helpful, so we made one of the sidecovers so that everyone understands that this is Nuclear Blast material...
... And for the intellectually impaired (i.e. you), we made the other side cover so that you understand that this is Nile material.
Also, just to rub it in a little more, they've "helped" us humble listeners some more. I mean, is there ANY reason whatsoever to write the name of each song TWICE?
But, then again, you realize the reason for this the moment you see the names of track VI and VII. They were being pretentious. VERY pretentious. The song title Hittite Dung Incantation sounds like it was taken from a song name generator, but that's because they wanted it that way, And Yezd Desert Ghul whatever (which is just an ambiental interlude, by the way [they must be really proud of it]) and Permitting The Noble Dead Etc. wouldn't have had such long names. What is their excuse? They're Nile. Arra! Arra! Arra! Dagon! Dagon! Dagon!
Just in case you forgot...Speaking of which, while Nile were really nice and considerate (note that this is not sarcasm) when giving us the 23 page booklet, since it really gives meaning to the songs, and they were really generous when they only made me pay 21,50 € for what is one of the most beautiful limited edition digipaks ever...
I dare you to say otherwise...But there is a line between being helpful and "pointing out" that you're an idiot, such as this (what follows has only been said by person X within the reaches of person Y's imagination):
"We decided to be helpful, so we made one of the sidecovers so that everyone understands that this is Nuclear Blast material...
... And for the intellectually impaired (i.e. you), we made the other side cover so that you understand that this is Nile material.
Also, just to rub it in a little more, they've "helped" us humble listeners some more. I mean, is there ANY reason whatsoever to write the name of each song TWICE?
But, then again, you realize the reason for this the moment you see the names of track VI and VII. They were being pretentious. VERY pretentious. The song title Hittite Dung Incantation sounds like it was taken from a song name generator, but that's because they wanted it that way, And Yezd Desert Ghul whatever (which is just an ambiental interlude, by the way [they must be really proud of it]) and Permitting The Noble Dead Etc. wouldn't have had such long names. What is their excuse? They're Nile. Arra! Arra! Arra! Dagon! Dagon! Dagon!
Sem comentários:
Enviar um comentário